Finally had the patience to write another blog entry.

I dunno what's with myself for being so lazy these past few days (maybe because Christmas is just around the corner...aye!). Hay, I wish I can bid my indolence good-bye this New Year.

Haven't been updating for weeks...I'm so lazy (and up to this moment I have no idea why I'm writing this senseless entry.)

Ah, yes! I'm gonna share my new "studies-related" disappointment.

We've already had our 1st quizzes for the 3 Accounting Subjects (ManAcc 3, AdVac 2 & AudProbs) and I am so UNHAPPY with the results.

AdVac. OK na sana because finally, I've mastered Partnership Formation & Dissolution (Operations is still a gray area! Darn!) but I still didn't manage to get a passing grade. Just a whopping 57-point-something...(whopping?! Aye...)


ManAcc 3. The quiz was actually fine & answerable and if not only for the Office's delay in the reproduction of the testpapers, I could've gotten a fine grade. Nakakahiya tuloy kay Ma'am Moreno. My grade? 2 points short to pass.

And the most abominable result of 'em all: my Auditing Problems quiz. It has surpassed my all-time low 39 (that's for my quiz in Accounts Receivable back in Third Year College). You could just imagine how low it is. It was 44, but since it's Christmas, Idol # 2 (aka Ma'am Empleo) decided to give us 22-points bonus. 44 less 22, so that makes my real score 22. Darn it, it was soooooooo embarassing! Considering the fact that I've been studying CASH for 4 times already in my entire life and yet I failed to pass that exam. And what's bothering me most is that most of my classmates got a line of 5 and I was ONE of the few who got that very low, line-of-four score. Goodness gracious. At super nakakahiya kay Ma'am. Magaling pa naman siya magturo tas ganoon kababa yung quiz ko.


Hay. It is not only my Accounting life's that is suffering: my Love Life's also a burden.

I was in a room with the man-of-my-dreams (aka Papa Cologne) and another friend. Then...

(The atmosphere was light because they're joking around...)
Him: Hay...kainis, gusto kong sumama sa Makibata...
Friend: *jokes* Ay, oo sumama ka na, malay mo, doon mo na makita yung mapapang-asawa mo! Manghawak ka nalang ng kahit sinong babae run tas yun na ang magiging asawa mo!
Me: *shocked with my friend's joke, and then looks at him & patiently waits for his response...*
Him: *dumbfounded & silent for seconds, then suddenly he became serious* IBA ANG GUSTO KONG MAGING ASAWA...

OOUUUCCCCHHHHH! My heart's been crushed & my dreams of "getting married to him someday" were decimated. I mean, let's face the facts. First and foremost, they're all joking around. Our friend was joking around. But why the hell did he suddenly changed the atmosphere to "serious mode" when that question was raised? And besides, he could've just given a safe answer -- he may have laughed, or made funny statements as "ganoon?" or "may ganoong factor?" or "kumusta naman yon?" (like what he always did). Third, it took him seconds before he answered the question and it means that it reminded him of something or someone or whatever...and it made him think deeply about marriage. And last thing, when he said "Iba ang gusto kong maging asawa..." means that HE HAS ALREADY SOMEONE IN MIND NA GUSTONG PAKASALAN BALANG ARAW. GIVEN THE FACT THAT HE INTENDS TO MARRY THIS CERTAIN WOMAN SOMEDAY MEANS THAT HE'S ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH HER RIGHT NOW. And what's more suspicious is the way he said the statement -- parang tipong binara niya yung friend namin na "sorry, meron na akong gustong pakasalan balang araw" in a very serious & manly tone. He didn't even bother to look at me after saying the statement, kasi if he's joking, he could've.

In short, BUSTED na naman ako. What's new?! Hindi na ba ako nasanay?! Narinig ko na pinakamasakit na salitang pwede niyang sabihin. Kulang na lang eh sabihin na rin niya kung sino yung girl para tuluy-tuloy na yung pag-todas niya sa akin.


I'd like to congratulate Jo for being so friggin' happy these days.

Finally, after months (or a year) of praying, God has already answered her prayers.

The friendship between her & this certain guy has come back...and now, it's even better! Frequent text messaging (they talk about anything under the sun) and un-ending cellphone calls (he calls again everytime the line gets cut every after 15 minutes) are her thing right now. Congratulations! And what's sweeter is the content of his "retreat letter" for her...

"Maari mang hindi tayo ngayon, malay mo, in the future, dadating din yung tamang panahon para sa atin. Basta, lagi lang akong nandito at nagmamahal sa iyo..."

Awww. Mutual Understanding. Need I say more?

And that's the reason why I'm not bothering her with my current heartbreaks anymore and instead, I'm sharing it with this blog, as if blogspot would actually react & answer me.


Not having a boyfriend won't kill me. I can actually live a single life happily. But sometimes, I just wonder why some people, though they don't take their relationships seriously, can easily find replacements (or can easily find someone who loves them & will replace the old ones). Gaya nalang nung mga playboys/playgirls na parang damit lang kung magpalit ng significant other. O kaya naman yung mga may number 1 & 2 na eh nakakakuha paring ng number 3 & 4.

Samantalang ako, kaisa-isa na nga lang yung mahal ko at gusto kong mahalin ako, eh hindi pa niya magawing mahalin ako. Get the picture?!


Sometimes I can't help but wish na sana I was in the same shoes as Jo. Alam mo yon, maaaring hindi "sila" ngayon pero the man already expressed that he's feeling the same way, yun nga lang, he feels na hindi pa ito yung right time for them. And it also means that he's open to the possibility na maging sila balang araw. Kung sakali eh happy narin naman ako kung ganun kami, halimbawa, malaman kong may feelings din siya for me kaso hindi niya ako balak ligawan dahil super busy siya at marami siyang responsibilities (kahit nga malaman kong crush lang niya ako eh super OK na! hehe). Handa naman akong maghintay eh. Yun nga lang, wala narin namang saysay kahit maghintay ako sa kanya kasi his eyes are already fixed on someone, unfortunately, the woman's not me. Sa tipo ni Cologne, siya yung guy na kapag na-inlove eh todo, so malamang he's sooo inlove with that woman that he'll never, ever bother to take a second look at me. So kahit anong gawin ko eh useless.

Sabi nga ng nanay ko kanina habang kumakain kami, mahirap raw talagang magmahal ng taong ayaw naman sayo.

Kagabi, Jo was sharing her sentiments with me. Yes, I'm very happy for her. Yun nga lang nakokonsensya pa ako kasi hindi ko siya madamayan ng husto sa kasiyahan niya...hindi ako masyadong maka-relate sa kanya kasi shempre, iba yung situation ko. Tas masisingit ko pa yung nangyari samin ni Cologne, parang ang dating eh sinasapawan ko ng sadness ko yung happiness niya. At eto pa ang pinaka-nakakahiya...

Jo: OK ka lang? Bakit hindi ka umiiyak? Kung ako yan eh humahagulgol na ako...
Me: Ha? Hinde ah...hindi pa siguro nagsi-sink in yung katotohanan
*huminga ng malalim...sabay iyak...*

Hehe. Kahihiyang totoo.
At mas malalang kahihiyan pa ang darating kung hindi ko titigilan 'to.

Labels: Head Over Heels, Me-Myself-and-I, Scholastic Raves, The Great Depression