Yes, now I know what it feels like to be in the "greater, hotter hell" and stand in front of the infamous satan himself.
Yes, I've been through hell for so many times before, and I've faced devils even before this one. I can still freshly recall how Atty. Virgilio Reyes used to call me for the graded recitation every taxation period, how he interrogated and made me look like a freakin' fool in front of the class, and how stupid he made me feel because I still haven't managed to answer all his freakin' questions that came from God-knows-where even if I did my assignments every meeting. At the end of the day, it was still hell, because those who don't even attend his classes or don't even bother to make their assignments and THOSE who copied my assignments got 1.75 or something, while I was wallowing in self-pity and sarcasm with a pitypass 3.
So back to the topic...my interview was still at 9:30 but I was already there at 9:00 am. The system's quite weird, though. There are several clusters...there's one cluster where there are only 2 interviews (one with the HR person and one with the manager/partner), one cluster with 3 interviews, and the worst (I believe), the "panel interview" (you'll be standing in front of 3 or more Sa-Ga-Va partners and they'd bombard you with questions until your brain -- and not just your nose -- bleeds.)
The first interview with the HR person, Ms.Bianca, was really fine. She was very kind, accomodating, and you'll really comfortable with her. Your anxiety will surely go away. But then, the day wasn't all about sunshine...
Then the 2nd interview. I was instructed by Ms.Bianca to go to the 10th floor and look for Toni (which, at first, I thought, was a Mister). She's young and accomodating...and I really thought that she will be the one to interview me that's why I felt a bit relaxed. After waiting for 30 minutes and wallowing in self-pity because I got to see all my UST schoolmates walking around (mentality: Waah...sila may trabaho na, ako tambay pa rin...), then Ms.Toni called me in and let me enter an office.
Then this guy entered the scene. He's still young, probably around his early 30's. Then he introduced himself as *toot* (okay, for safety, let's just call him the great HIRSUTE BIPED. I'm mad, for crying out loud!).
So then. The interview was VERY LONG. As in. And he kept on looking and looking at my resume so that he can still think of something to ask me. Darn it. The interview was horrible because:
1. He's not convinced that I'm competent enough to perform the job. Kulang na lang eh tanungin nya ako na "Iha, may utak ka ba? At kung sakaling meron, alam mo ba kung paano ito gamitin?"
2. He's also doubting about the competence of UST in producing quality CPAs. The heck, that fugly creature has the nerve to question the 400-year old University, with an 86% passing rate, and doubt the instituion where his "great-great bosses" Washington SyCip and Alfredo Velayo graduated?
3. He hasn't got an open mind. Whatever you say is wrong. "I'm always right". And he kept on giving me that "disgusted" or "that's not good enough" look. Yung tipong "hahanap at hahanap siya ng butas"...
And here's some of the dialogues that I can still remember...(note: Pure english to nung actual interview *nosebleed*)
HB: Aside from Sa-Ga-Va, saang institutions ka pa nag-apply?
Me: Ah sa Pee-N-Ey po
HB: Have they called you already?
Me: Not yet.
HB: Ah...so why did you decide to apply here?
Me: Because it is the largest audfirm, it is already established, and I know that I'll learn so much here.
HB: Pee-N-Ey is also an audfirm and you'll also learn so much there, pero bakit ka pa nag-apply dito? Dahil ba sa hindi ka nila tinawagan? (and then he gives me the "now I know I got you" look)
Me: Sa-Ga-Va is really my first choice. The first time Sir Dexter of HR called, I wasn't able to answer the call, then I thought that he'd never call again, so that's why I decided to apply to other firms. He only called last night.
HB: Do you have OJT's in UST?
Me: No
HB: No? Why? (in disbelief)
Me: Because we have summer classes, Sir, especially when the student's already in 3rd and 4th yr.
HB: NOt even when you're still in your 1st and 2nd year?
Me: No Sir, because at that time, we still haven't got our major subjects and some are even/still undecided as to what major they will take.
HB: So, did you attend leadership training seminars?
Me: No sir
HB: Why? (you're-so-disappointing look)
Me: Because LTS are only offered to SC and Org officers
HB: So, you're not a student leader and just a MERE (wow, look at the intensity of these words...craptastic) member? (then gives me this you-can't-lead look)
Me: Because if I started joining and being active in such, my grades might suffer, and my grades and academic performance are my priority.
HB: Ah, so that's the curriculum of UST? Do you have grade requirements?
Me: No sir, for as long as the student doesn't fail 9 units...
HB: What? (and gives me that what-kind-of-system-is-that look) You don't have grade requirements?
Me: No sir. But before one can take accountancy as major, the student still has to pass the qualifying exam. If that student failed the exam, he/she cannot continue taking up BSA and will be forced to shift.
HB: *gives me that that-is-not-good-enough look*
HB: So, did UST teach you the new standards?
Me: Yes, Sir. Although there's no specific subjects about standards, they INCORPORATED it in the lessons.
HB: So they taught you the old standards? (kainis, ang bopols. Incorporated nga sa lessons eh, sarap sagutin!)
Me: Ah sir, they taught us the new standards, although there isn't any specific subject about standards only. They taught it through problem-solving...
HB: So, what new standards did you learn? (Whatttt? Calling Mrs. Empleo...waah di ko kabisado yung mga numero ng mga PAS 32, 39 at PFRS 2 na yan!)
Me: Uhm...like when we were still at 3rd year, they still taught us the old-but-still-effective standard regarding Share-Based Payments but during IAC, they taught us the new standards...
HB: Give other examples...
Me: (brain already bleeding) The change of "NRV" to amortized cost (Accounts Receivable), the changes in treatment of intangibles and PPE, the purchase commitments and allowance for decline in market value for inventories...(darn it! Buti may naalala ako! Whew! Bakit nga ba nakalimutan ko yung derivatives?)
Ah basta, marami pa yan. Di ko na nga maalala lahat dahil sa sobrang dami. GISADONG-GISADO talaga ako. At hindi lang yon, sobrang NAYURAKAN ang pagkatao ko. The heck, partida may titulo na ako pero hindi pa ako nirespeto. Paano pa kaya kung wala akong titulo?
I can't argue with you if you ain't interested in hiring me, it's your prerogative to reject my application, but at least respect me like a colleague. NAUNA KA LANG MAGING CPA KAYA MAY RANGGO KA NA.
And during the interview, di ba he kept on looking at my resume so that he can still think of something to ask me, and you can clearly see in his facial expressions that he isn't, in any way, interested in hiring me. And I was uttering under my breath, "kung ayaw mo talaga akong i-hire eh di itigil na natin 'tong kalokohang interview na to! You're just wasting my time, pinapa-nosebleed mo pa ako sa pag-eenglish!"
And it somehow made me wonder, bakit nga ba yung iba eh nuknukan ng bait yung mga manager or partner na natataon sa kanila. Yung tipong isa lang yung tinanong pero tanggap na agad? Tas pwede pang mag-tagalog. Yung iba nga, nag-exam ng umaga, interview nung hapon tas job offer na agad kinagabihan. There are some cases pa na they just passed their resume tas hired na, no exams, no interviews!
Samantalang ako, GINISA na at lahat, eh wala pang job offer. Argh, I really want to strangle that ugly faggot to death!
Then I realized, "is this the company and the environment that I will enjoy working at?" Kung ganun ka-conceited ang boss mo eh malamang 1 araw pa lang eh mag-resign na ako. And really, the environment was really different. May animosity na ewan. Basta ganun.
Kaya at the end of the day, hindi na rin masama ang loob ko na walang offer. Kasi kahit naman ma-offer-an ako eh magdadalawang-isip na akong tanggapin.
Pero ayoko parin namang magsalita nang tapos. Baka naman mamaya eh offer-an nga ako at tanggapin ko naman. Sabihin nyo pa eh sarcastic ako. Still open to the possibilities, it's just that I won't easily grab it and that there's doubt if I'll accept it.
Gwash, it's these times that I can feel that really, LIFE IS INDEED UNFAIR.
And I'm 100% sure that in the next few days, months, or years, I will a greater "devil" than him. Part of life. This maybe the FIRST, but DEFINITELY NOT THE LAST!
This experience is very much like that of Anne Hathaway in the movie "The Devil Wears Prada". The difference is, she got the job and managed to endure Meryl Streep. Me? Only God knows.
God, you're the ONE who knows what job is best for me.
Labels: A CPA's Life, Atrocities, Dead Meat, Flabbergasted, Get Your Tagalog-to-Your Country's Language Dictionary, Me-Myself-and-I, Randomities, The Great Depression